I’ve recently turned 40 and have found myself contemplating what lies on the road ahead and reflecting on the paths I’ve navigated to arrive at this stage in life. Supposedly, I’m at the ‘halfway’ point of my life (though many … Continue reading ‘Over the Hill’
Well, I made a bet with myself that I could stay out of the blog world for six moths and I did; yet, I don’t have that feeling of victory. Although I’m super happy and excited to be back, I feel a bit sad about the good times I could have had in the blogosphere over the past few months. I also feel like I may have disappointed or annoyed those that may be regular readers of conditional cognition. For that I am truly sorry. 😦 Although I achieved my goal of being free from blogs and blogging for half a year, looking back, I think I hastily took this hiatus.
Why? Why did I take this leave of absence?
Once again, I find my life tilted too heavily toward one aspect, leaving others to fall by the wayside. Why can’t I work hard, play much and love a lot all at the same time? Putting forth excellence on the job shouldn’t necessarily consume personal time and diminish opportunities to spend moments with those I love or my favorite pastimes and passions; yet, it does.
As you may have noticed, it’s been several months since I’ve written a blog post. I enjoy putting my thoughts down and recording them for purposes of reflection and debate, but I have allowed myself to ignore this therapeutic and enjoyable aspect of my life. For what? Work?
I could easily lay blame there, but I don’t think I can point the finger at my occupation. Yes, I am a teacher, and we, in this profession, have a habit of overextending ourselves for the sake of others. Regardless, this cannot be an excuse. It’s too convenient to place blame on this aspect of my life. I am the one who chooses to spend time doing this thing or that.
Too often, when in the midst of a discussion or debate, people get worked up when others refuse to accept their opinions. Just because a person does not accept your viewpoint does not mean that you should take it to heart. A rejection of one’s ideas is not a rejection of a person as a whole. Furthermore, we cannot allow ourselves to walk away from these situations without understanding ourselves and the other(s).
We have all encountered situations like this at one point or another. You engage in a back-and-forth exchange with a friend, family member or colleague on some topic. After an exhausting debate both parties have become angered, bitter, frustrated, irate or some other negative emotional state. It’s likely that both experience a combination of several emotional states that don’t feel all that good. In fact, you’re probably left wondering, “Was it worth investing all that energy to have this ______ (fill in the blank accordingly) not get a thing that I said?”
Regardless of whether you think it was worth it or not, be sure to maintain a realistic sense of what really happened. This will prove to be difficult, because strong emotions can cloud our memories; yet, it’s imperative that one honestly reflects on what occurred. Try to make it a learning experience and gain a deeper sense of understanding about yourself and the one with who you were in disagreement. A simple dismissal of those on the “wrong” side of the discussion will leave you worse off than before you started: emotionally drained without knowledge gained. Do this and you essentially are a “stuper” (see Counterfeit Humans).
Here are some guiding principles for the discussion (in no particular order):